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Rejection Sensitivity in Gifted and Twice-Exceptional Children

102 points · 79 comments · actfrench

  1. cgio · · focus · HN ↗
    An almost trifecta. I am almost gifted, autism and adhd ( or add, you wouldn’t call me hyperactive…). My trick was to “use” my autism to filter out rejection clues. I am still sensitive in a sense, can get obsessed over detail of something that could be perceived as a rejection, but I actively refuse parsing anything as such. People tell me I am over-confident to a fault.
    1. notnaut · · focus · HN ↗
      Very interesting. I’m in the same boat with a little more hyperactive and a little less autism. I never learned the filtering thing and I feel nearly as sensitive and doubtful as I did as a kid. It leaves me to dwell on everything and rarely make firm decisions, so I have the opposite problem.
    2. notrealyme123 · · focus · HN ↗
      How do you use autism to filter something? Did you train this?
      1. JonChesterfield · · focus · HN ↗
        That's the wrong baseline. If you start out oblivious that people are telling you things (with their expression, or with the noises they're making) you get that filter for free. The work is in _not_ filtering out such things. First you have to realise that's a thing (somehow? good luck with the bootstrap), then learn to pay attention, then try to make sense of the result.
    3. willismichael · · focus · HN ↗
      The "hyperactive" part of ADHD is kind of a misnomer, or at least doesn't mean hyperactive in the way that most people understand the word. Think of it more as a tendency to hyperfocus on specific things while completely ignoring other things.
      1. hirvi74 · · focus · HN ↗
        You clearly have never met me in person. I am like a walking, talking Jim Carrey character. I'm also well into adulthood. For some, the hyperactivity is what most people think, and it does not always die down in adulthood.
        1. willismichael · · focus · HN ↗
          Ok fair enough, I should have said that it's not always visible hyperactivity.
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