> A diagnosis of
ADHD or autism in adulthood often leads to incredible relief and
grief in processing all the moments of being blamed and shamed for
what was assumed to be a lack of effort, laziness and/or defiance.
This is definitely a factor for me when I tried to get diagnosed (which failed lol), because my parents whom caused my trauma would obviously refuse to blame themselves for my emotionally stunted development
I simply wrote to the psychiatrist a note that whatever my parents say, they'll make themselves look good, and therefore will paint a rosy childhood for me. I guess it also helped that my then partner was there and told her of how my parents told a "funny story" that made his parents gasp in horror.
It was the story of how my brother was asked at school to draw a picture of his last birthday when he was about 5ish and drew stick figures carrying building material because we were building something in the yard and my parents forgot his birthday.
Good grief. I read your comment and … the levels of parental neglect wrapped up in your single story are overwhelming me.
I’m sure you don’t need validation from random internet strangers, but as one with a similar enough childhood, I wanted to share that it’s a thoroughly shit club to be in.
I could absolutely forget my kid's birthdays. Even though I love them dearly. It's just a round around the sun and culturally made important. Idk what else was going on but building something in the yard together with your parent sounds like fun to me.
Or, this was sarcasm?
Anyway I don't like birthdays myself. I don't like getting presents, I don't like giving them. If you want something just buy it. Why this weird ritual??
Never forget to see the world from the viewpoint of your children, too. Birthdays are very important to them, because they grow up in a culture, and neither they nor you can avoid that. By being dismissive about what is important to them, you confuse and alienate them. My parents were very dismissive about school, and that made my whole school time a bad experience for me.
Well luckily my wife is always on the ball. But I tell them I love them almost everyday. I really hope they will forgive me my chaotic mind. If a child has to get all their sense of value from a single day a year something's very wrong. I get all your points, it's important but not that important.
E-Reverance · · focus · HN ↗
This is definitely a factor for me when I tried to get diagnosed (which failed lol), because my parents whom caused my trauma would obviously refuse to blame themselves for my emotionally stunted development
exe34 · · focus · HN ↗
digitaltrees · · focus · HN ↗
exe34 · · focus · HN ↗
mootothemax · · focus · HN ↗
I’m sure you don’t need validation from random internet strangers, but as one with a similar enough childhood, I wanted to share that it’s a thoroughly shit club to be in.
teekert · · focus · HN ↗
Or, this was sarcasm?
Anyway I don't like birthdays myself. I don't like getting presents, I don't like giving them. If you want something just buy it. Why this weird ritual??
wsng · · focus · HN ↗
teekert · · focus · HN ↗
idiotsecant · · focus · HN ↗