Thread

Singapore govt dating app uses Gale-Shapley stable marriage algorithm

466 points · 499 comments · rzk

purplepatrick · 1790817358 · focus · HN ↗
Cute. Of course, beyond basic deal breakers, neither do people know their preferences (but they think they do), nor do the majority of preference categories actually matter.
This is a common problem with all dating apps. Specifically, interests, hobbies, daily routines, objectives, etc. have nothing to do with compatibility.
“We like the same things!” is the compatibility signal of a naive 22-yr old…
1. SoftTalker · 1790824072 · focus · HN ↗
  It can also be a strong compatiblity signal. For example a person who likes to travel and a person who likes to stay home are not going to be happy together.
  What would really be good is if more couples went through premarital counseling to help them figure out if they have long-term compatibility or if they are just currently infatuated with each other. Infatuation can go on for years by the way, with the conflict only surfacing after there are kids and then divorce gets messy.
  1. riffraff · 1790834675 · focus · HN ↗
    A personal anecdote: I got married in Church and you must take a short pre-marital class, which is of course religious-centered but the dude who ran it was lay. I don't think it's particularly useful in general and I'm not very religious but I think mine was.
    Among various things they made us fill out a "values wheel", a kind of spider web diagram with various dimensions like family, status, career, friendship, education, money, kids, religion, etc..
    And then the guy pointed out if the wheels didn't look mostly similar it would be better to have a discussion nowz before getting married, rather than after.
    One couple found out they had vastly different values, ignored it, and broke up within one year of marriage. Clearly problems pre-existed and counseling might have helped avoiding the mess.
  2. crabbone · 1790869834 · focus · HN ↗
    My mom was a marriage councilor. Her marriage and the subsequent divorce were out of this world bad. She pretty much managed to hit almost every stereotypical negative behavior trait.
    In general, my experience with counseling, therapy, social workers et al. were that you might be better off spending the money on a rollecoaster ride. At least it's guaranteed to end.
    Especially the social workers. I have an impression that their exams have an inverted grading scale: you need to score below a certain threshold to graduate.
  3. majani · 1790873615 · focus · HN ↗
    That's a difference in extraversion levels. A big five personality test is all you need to determine compatibility of personalities

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