I use Migadu(migadu.com), but Apple's iCloud email hosting is basically tailor fit to your expectations, so I don't have any idea why you don't use it.
But you can host your own email too. It's not the easiest option, but it can be done, and there has been some newer email server software written that tries to make it easier.
iCloud email has been part of some sketchy things in the past, supposedly they have been dropping emails with certain words in them with no notification to either side of the message. There isn’t an option to turn it off and it isn’t advertised anywhere <a href="https://forums.techsoup.org/t/icloud-email-system-blocks-emails-containing-certain-phrases/206" rel="nofollow">https://forums.techsoup.org/t/icloud-email-system-blocks-ema...
zie · · focus · HN ↗
But you can host your own email too. It's not the easiest option, but it can be done, and there has been some newer email server software written that tries to make it easier.
jgx0 · · focus · HN ↗