I've heard this term "trauma" a lot in the past few years, and often in context where I didn't initially think that word applied in the situation it was used. It's caused me to think about my own childhood and wonder, with that modern understanding of the word, did I experience "trauma"?
I wasn't sexually abused, I wasn't neglected, I wasn't wanting of love. I was however often scolded to a point where I felt horrible about myself. Scolded to a point where I didn't even feel like I could exist without disrupting the world. At times yes, physically scolded but nothing so extreme as to leave a mark.
To be fair to my parents I was a very high energy and "difficult" child. Big emotions. I was always the problem.
Obviously compared to some upbringings this was a walk in the park. But it really did have an impact on me and who I grew up to be. In some ways it was likely a good impact. I learned that my energy had no place in the world. I learned that my emotions would likely cause more problems than they would solve. I learned to shut up, and sit down, and follow the rules, even when every ounce of my inner being wanted to do the opposite.
I've had a myriad of mental health issues throughout my adult life, ranging from low severity to medium, and on some rare occasions high. Genetics? Upbringing? Modern life? All of the above?
Your comment reads like a case study from "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker. Many of his studies focus on childhood experiences that are overall "happy" but fall short of "emotionally fulfilling".
This is utterly ridiculous. To be healthy we have to have an emotionally fulfilling, not just happy, childhood? How did we ever survive as a species?
How do you even decide the difference between happy and emotionally fulfilling?
In my honest opinion, no one wants to look at genetics because it scares the hell out of them. But it’s most likely it’s complex genetics, not complex PTSD.
You don't need to be happy or healthy to survive.
> How do you even decide the difference between happy and emotionally fulfilling?
Happy is how you're feeling in the moment. Emotionally fulfilling is how you feel about the whole of your situation. Does it feel right? Fair? Or are you constantly "glad it's not worse"? Remove fault and justification from the equation -- wouldn't it be more emotionally fulfilling if parents didn't yell at you? If they didn't make such a big deal out of spending money on you? You can be happy a lot of the time despite those, but they tend to leave a hole in you anyway. Emotional fulfillment is the relative lack of those holes, compared to the good.
tossintowind320 · · focus · HN ↗
I wasn't sexually abused, I wasn't neglected, I wasn't wanting of love. I was however often scolded to a point where I felt horrible about myself. Scolded to a point where I didn't even feel like I could exist without disrupting the world. At times yes, physically scolded but nothing so extreme as to leave a mark.
To be fair to my parents I was a very high energy and "difficult" child. Big emotions. I was always the problem.
Obviously compared to some upbringings this was a walk in the park. But it really did have an impact on me and who I grew up to be. In some ways it was likely a good impact. I learned that my energy had no place in the world. I learned that my emotions would likely cause more problems than they would solve. I learned to shut up, and sit down, and follow the rules, even when every ounce of my inner being wanted to do the opposite.
I've had a myriad of mental health issues throughout my adult life, ranging from low severity to medium, and on some rare occasions high. Genetics? Upbringing? Modern life? All of the above?
nyanmatt · · focus · HN ↗
Noaidi · · focus · HN ↗
How do you even decide the difference between happy and emotionally fulfilling?
In my honest opinion, no one wants to look at genetics because it scares the hell out of them. But it’s most likely it’s complex genetics, not complex PTSD.
LoganDark · · focus · HN ↗
> How do you even decide the difference between happy and emotionally fulfilling?
Happy is how you're feeling in the moment. Emotionally fulfilling is how you feel about the whole of your situation. Does it feel right? Fair? Or are you constantly "glad it's not worse"? Remove fault and justification from the equation -- wouldn't it be more emotionally fulfilling if parents didn't yell at you? If they didn't make such a big deal out of spending money on you? You can be happy a lot of the time despite those, but they tend to leave a hole in you anyway. Emotional fulfillment is the relative lack of those holes, compared to the good.