> A diagnosis of ADHD or autism in adulthood often leads to incredible relief and grief in processing all the moments of being blamed and shamed for what was assumed to be a lack of effort, laziness and/or defiance.
I never understood this sentiment. It's just who I am and always have been. And I learned to deal with the circumstances. I don't understand why it makes people feel better to have a diagnosis they can blame.
Perhaps it's a generational thing? I know as a manager it's pretty common for reports to cite them having ADHD as why they can't do this or that. Meanwhile I mentally roll my eyes thinking, "no shit, me too, but I manage to get this done"
Imagine some people have been calling you "crazy" all your life, in a bad way, and then, at 40 years old, you do something that you expect the other person to think is crazy and they just say instead: "ah, don't worry, that's normal to do if you have adhd", and then it suddenly clicks that you are NOT crazy and have never been your entire life, you just had a condition you didn't know about and people were ignorant, and acting like this is completely normal given the condition.
It's like being forced to write with your left hand the entire life, and suddenly you realize that you are right handed, and it's ok to be right handed too...
You saw the part where I said I dealt with the same thing, right? I don't have to imagine. And I still don't understand why people feel relieved. It doesn't change the fact of the matter of my situation, and I still have to deal with it the same as I always have. And no, I never use it as an explanation or an excuse to other people, it's just something I need to deal with.
The inability to understand or empathise with others is indeed a neurodivergent trait. Some people get comfort from it, some don't. People are different and have different outputs for the same input.
jghn · · focus · HN ↗
I never understood this sentiment. It's just who I am and always have been. And I learned to deal with the circumstances. I don't understand why it makes people feel better to have a diagnosis they can blame.
Perhaps it's a generational thing? I know as a manager it's pretty common for reports to cite them having ADHD as why they can't do this or that. Meanwhile I mentally roll my eyes thinking, "no shit, me too, but I manage to get this done"
XCSme · · focus · HN ↗
It's like being forced to write with your left hand the entire life, and suddenly you realize that you are right handed, and it's ok to be right handed too...
jghn · · focus · HN ↗
forgotusername6 · · focus · HN ↗