Thread · HN Continuity

Adam and Eve partook of the Tree of Knowledge because of the serpent, and blamed one another in a chain of blame for it. Adam even blamed God for "this woman"!

Now that I have eaten of it as well, I want to testify to the good that it did in me. My "love life" was full of failures, and terrible relations with my female peers. I realized eventually that I didn't honestly know what love was, or how to be a husband, much less a father.

It was a few years ago when I came across a handful of pornographic scenes that opened my eyes to what people mean by "consent" and what a really loving relationship could look like, as a "fly on the wall". Because it had never played out in front of me until then, I didn't know what it looked like, or sounded like or felt like when people were consenting to intimacy, enjoying that intimacy, accepting their partner, and encouraging them for more. It was literally just beyond my experience, and when I saw it, I was so ashamed of myself.

I was ashamed of how I'd treated women and I was sad because they had treated me so badly, and I hadn't even the guts to say "no". I try not to "belong" to an incel community or foster bitterness to women for how I am, but my gender ID and my sexuality have been thoroughly ruined, even without so much porn. Just from imbibing pop culture depictions, and all the singers, and MTV, and actresses, and fake sitcoms and films that warped my self-image along with warping my reality into fantasy.

Porn addiction isn't moral, and there are many, many ways for a man to be trapped by porn into worse and worse mental health, ruining his RL relationships as well. But it seems that women are empowered to use all their qualifications and gifts to earn a living and provide for themselves and families, and even sincerely follow their faith and conscience to worship the demons that fuel porn. So who am I to judge that they do the needful, because we capitalists live by PT Barnum's maxim, "There's a Sucker Born Every Minute".