Thread

1. purplepatrick · 1790817358 · focus · HN ↗

   Cute. Of course, beyond basic deal breakers, neither do people know their preferences (but they think they do), nor do the majority of preference categories actually matter.

   This is a common problem with all dating apps. Specifically, interests, hobbies, daily routines, objectives, etc. have nothing to do with compatibility.

   “We like the same things!” is the compatibility signal of a naive 22-yr old…

   1. Gigachad · 1790819807 · focus · HN ↗

      IMO the largest problem is that there is an enormous amount of friction to go from getting a match on an app to actually meeting them in real life. Which means it just doesn't happen that often. What we need is physical spaces where people can meet in person for a low or zero cost. That eliminates the friction of actually seeing someone because they are already there in front of you.

      1. alexey-salmin · 1790831357 · focus · HN ↗

         This used to be the workplace: observing a big group of people over long periods of time when they don't pretend to charm you. Are they kind? How do they treat others? Are they secure? Are they ambitious? Are they hardworking? What do they talk about on the lunch break?

         Meeting people from dating apps is quite literally the opposite of that: one person at a time, extremely short period of time, they can pretend, no or little interactions with third parties (how they treat a waiter maybe).

         I honestly believe that making workplace dating something frowned upon (or even a terminable offence sometimes) was a huge disservice to society. People spends most of their adult life going to work but are supposed to squeeze the search for a partner into the little time and energy that remains outside of work.

         1. mystifyingpoi · 1790832702 · focus · HN ↗

            Exactly. Using a dating app is just asking for being lied to.

            Also, the whole concept of finding your significant other by ONLY going out on dates is... kinda broken in concept? It's not really that hard to pretend to be someone else for a few hours a week.

            1. HPsquared · 1790840491 · focus · HN ↗

               Indeed, a lot of people treat meeting a partner as a step on some planned self transformational journey, where they try and manifest "the new me" .. a recipe for misleading the other party.

               1. bmn__ · 1790875577 · focus · HN ↗

                  That's literally the first time I've heard of that. I think that in reality there are not a lot of people who think as you describe, and I believe the most likely explanation for your conclusion is that you're in a bubble.

                  1. HPsquared · 1790897550 · focus · HN ↗

                     Same with getting a new job, moving house or having a child. Any "big commitment move" involves long term hopes and intentions that are often fanciful.

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