Thread

1. purplepatrick · 1790817358 · focus · HN ↗

   Cute. Of course, beyond basic deal breakers, neither do people know their preferences (but they think they do), nor do the majority of preference categories actually matter.

   This is a common problem with all dating apps. Specifically, interests, hobbies, daily routines, objectives, etc. have nothing to do with compatibility.

   “We like the same things!” is the compatibility signal of a naive 22-yr old…

   1. Gigachad · 1790819807 · focus · HN ↗

      IMO the largest problem is that there is an enormous amount of friction to go from getting a match on an app to actually meeting them in real life. Which means it just doesn't happen that often. What we need is physical spaces where people can meet in person for a low or zero cost. That eliminates the friction of actually seeing someone because they are already there in front of you.

      1. paimapi · 1790822219 · focus · HN ↗

         I think that varies by experience. I had a few matches back in the day that took forever to get to a physical meet and greet but most folks weren't there to relive the AIM experience. I met my current partner of 10+ years within maybe six messages between the both of us? And I'd say less than a dozen messages was my median before we either met up or one of us unmatched

         I knew a lot of dudes who just agonized over what to say next, as if there was an optimal response or something. Turns out, treating the person on the other side like a real human you want to get to know because you plan on soending a lot of time together is a much better frame than 'How do I convince this stranger that I'm so super cool or hot'

         If you can get to that point, it doesn't matter what space you end up in. Like Frank Herbert once said, a place is only a place

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