Thread

1. aurareturn · 1790814390 · focus · HN ↗

   Maybe part of the solution for any country dealing with low marriage rate is to ban all private dating apps and only government issued apps are allowed.

   Private ones will always prioritize profit which means they want you to keep using the app which means they don’t want you to find a partner.

   Modern dating apps makes it so that an average woman will have unlimited choices but the average man will have next to none. Before dating apps, they could have been a good match. But with dating apps, the woman has unlimited higher value men. How could these average women marry an average man if she’s being taken on dates constantly by top 5% men?

   The problem is that these higher value men will not commit because they also have unlimited options.

   Even if she marries an average man later in life, she will feel resentment towards him. Therefore, these women just choose to stay single. This is especially viable now because women often are more educated and have good income.

   Now we can see why young men are increasingly becoming far right and longing for far more conservative world.

   Modern dating apps are just manifesting natural instincts on steroids. I don’t blame either party. Just an observation.

   1. rationalist · 1790814553 · focus · HN ↗

      Especially since populations are potentially in decline with fertility rates below replacement rates. It seems like an existential problem for the government if they want future taxpayers.

      1. fluidcruft · 1790815537 · focus · HN ↗

         Governments shouldn't "want" anything. If people want more taxpayers, so be it.

         1. tomrod · 1790815664 · focus · HN ↗

            While technically correct for Western-aligned nations, not all governments are for the people and by the people.

            1. Gigachad · 1790826377 · focus · HN ↗

               The implication that Western nations are different is fairly funny. I'd argue most of the governments in Asia are doing a lot more for the people than many Western governments.

               1. tomrod · 1790857640 · focus · HN ↗

                  I am not sure that is true. Japan remains closed to economy-saving immigration, Uyghurs have atrocities committed against them, several countries losing their collective minds due to social media-induced riots/panics.

                  Maybe Tibet and the GenZ revolution as a counterexample?

      2. SoftTalker · 1790826179 · focus · HN ↗

         The current belief seems to be that the future is going to need a lot fewer people.
   2. kylehotchkiss · 1790816110 · focus · HN ↗

      o__O my url bar doesn’t currently say Reddit? This argument feels red pilled and not curious nor productive. Women have plenty of valid frustrations with the dating pool. I don’t live in SF but the last woman whom I talked to there told me many of y’all just have mattresses on the floor and like no bed frame. There are places to improve fellas

      Yeah, dating apps are problematic. No, nobody here is going to fix that with another stupid app. But I think a lot of these “meet with a group of strangers at dinner” biz concepts are cool and gonna try some soon.

      1. aurareturn · 1790817698 · focus · HN ↗

         It’s just reality when all the internet virtue signaling is turned off.

         I’m not blaming anyone. I think all parties are behaving as they should.

         1. saagarjha · 1790820992 · focus · HN ↗

            I see a party here who is not behaving as they should and it's the one I am replying to.

            1. akimbostrawman · 1790839184 · focus · HN ↗

               How dare someone not agreeing with you.

               1. saagarjha · 1790842178 · focus · HN ↗

                  Yeah that’s definitely my issue here
   3. itake · 1790829319 · focus · HN ↗

      I don't understand how a government app fixes the problem.

      I've talked with women about this offline and they usually fire back with: "You expect women to lower their standards?"

      Women would rather delay pregnancy until they find a suitable partner, than risk being with the wrong guy.

      The only thing I _maybe_ can think of is governments could only show profiles in your 'tier' (looks, social economic class, etc), whereas private dating apps found that showing everyone pretty people keeps people coming back.

   4. Eueudhsbsj32 · 1790831859 · focus · HN ↗

      I think the main cause of this asymmetry in modern dating is the disappearance of social shaming for casual sex.

      When casual sex is a possibility, many high value men will see it as a desirable option to commited relationships. And since for most men, their standards are very low for casual partners, they're willing to date far below their "level".

      That puts women in difficult position because the most desirable partners are far more likely to be looking for only casual sex. But even if women adopt strict strategies to filter out the desirable men who won't commit, the men will naturally adopt deceptive strategies to evade detection as a "fuck boy".

      When potential partners largely came from your real social network, the social cost was high for men for "using women for sex" and for women "being easy", so that prevented this problem to some degree.

      Now that partners largely come from outside our social networks, there doesn't seem to be any good way to reproduce the social shaming for deceptive non-commitment.

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