Middle aged European here. I still regularly go to parties (dinner and otherwise) and I notice that there are two kinds of people: people who throw parties, and people who don't. This sounds like a truism, but what I mean is: there are people who regularly throw a party and people who never do it.
I am solidly in the first category. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, drinking parties, dance parties, midsummer parties, midwinter parties, game parties, etc. Yes, it costs time and money and is a lot of work. But what people (probably the ones that never bother) tend to forget is how unbelievably gratifying it is to get a bunch of people together, to feed them and to make them talk, laugh, dance, etc. Afterwards you are tired but also grateful and socially energized in a way that feels fundamental to my existence.
It varies a lot depending on people and personality type. What's energizing to you is very exhausting and unfun to others. Extraversion / introversion basically. I don't like having many people over. 3 or 4 people who I know well is optimal for me.
Making a large party could be "type 2 fun" sometimes, ie exhausting and not very fun at the time, but satisfying to look back on as a kind of hard challenge I managed to accomplish, like climbing a cold mountain or so. But few are enough of those.
I wonder if the cultural existence of the 'introvert vs extrovert' idea has reinforced this to a degree. I'm too young to know, but I doubt this was a discussion in the 80s. I'm also not too sure it's a good thing. I've seen introversion used as an excuse to hermit; extroversion as the sole reason to use drugs.
We put limits on ourselves psychologically in all sorts of ways, and we follow the ones we believe. There's a study that showed people who believe willpower is finite have finite willpower. I thought "well obviously, if you had finite willpower you'd know because you'd run out". Maybe we do just think too much?
If I don't feel like running and I go running, about two thirds of the time I feel like running after a few K. It's the same socially. The goal of introspection shouldn't be to freeze in a minute now.
Imagine if you didn’t feel like running, and you made yourself do it, and after a few K you were like “this sucks, I wish I’d stayed home” and you finish your run and you didn’t enjoy it at all. But people keep telling you how great it is so you keep doing it and you keep hating it and after a while you eventually decide that running is not for you.
Would that be a reasonable conclusion? Or should we conclude that this is a psychological limit and we just need to stop thinking so much?
That's right - its "impossible" to teach others about DOSE; how the chemical soup of the body works differently for everyone, including how environmental factors and behaviors of social interactions can affect it, and how someone may want to see an endocrinologist if they want a different outcome to their life. ;P
You might want to elaborate a bit, because I have no idea what DOSE is besides an all-caps spelling of a word which means how much medicine you're given.
While you're at it, rolling in an understanding that people are different and not everybody enjoys any particular thing would not go amiss.
DOSE - the happy chemicals of the brain - Dopamine, Oxytocin, Seratonin, and Endorphins.
Endorphins, in "most" people, are released during or after physical exercise. Upon release, they help reduce pain, which then sometimes triggers dopamine. This combination is called "runner's high", which can be why people choose to continue running. Those that don't ever "feel" this way, may give up on running and find other ways to get physical activity in their life regimen. Those that never physically exercise typically end up with weight problems, but not always.
The way the brain chemistry varies between people can be different based on many factors such as DNA, food, gut bacteria, environmental chemical exposure, and more... Humans, today, share the same set of chemicals empowering their bodies, however there is mostly small, but sometimes larger, variation in the quantities of those chemicals. So, we're all different, and yet we're all the same.
Chemistry plays a big role in perception of an activity - was it a good activity, or a bad one? Good activities tend to reinforce repeat behavior of that activity, bad ones help reinforce memories of what not to do. So, if you've never experienced runner's high, I could understand why you wouldn't be interested in running. Just don't be sedentary - the human body was not [built|evolved] for sedentary life.
... and not to bring AI into this conversation, but its why the tech is so different - its not tied to the materiality of our brain chemistry. Its merely the [approximate?] representation of our own brain electrical activity without the consequence of all that we are - pain, sadness, happiness, bliss, love, etc...
Full disclosure: I received a dopamine release from the writing of this reply ;P
That's all well and good, but I don't understand why that means that we must have a physical ailment if we don't enjoy running after a few K. Even if every single healthy person experiences runner's high, what says that the individual finds that high to be worth the negative aspects?
I'm glad you found writing your reply to be enjoyable, because it's a lot of words to just miss the point.
kieckerjan · · focus · HN ↗
I am solidly in the first category. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, drinking parties, dance parties, midsummer parties, midwinter parties, game parties, etc. Yes, it costs time and money and is a lot of work. But what people (probably the ones that never bother) tend to forget is how unbelievably gratifying it is to get a bunch of people together, to feed them and to make them talk, laugh, dance, etc. Afterwards you are tired but also grateful and socially energized in a way that feels fundamental to my existence.
bonoboTP · · focus · HN ↗
Making a large party could be "type 2 fun" sometimes, ie exhausting and not very fun at the time, but satisfying to look back on as a kind of hard challenge I managed to accomplish, like climbing a cold mountain or so. But few are enough of those.
ddek · · focus · HN ↗
We put limits on ourselves psychologically in all sorts of ways, and we follow the ones we believe. There's a study that showed people who believe willpower is finite have finite willpower. I thought "well obviously, if you had finite willpower you'd know because you'd run out". Maybe we do just think too much?
If I don't feel like running and I go running, about two thirds of the time I feel like running after a few K. It's the same socially. The goal of introspection shouldn't be to freeze in a minute now.
wat10000 · · focus · HN ↗
Would that be a reasonable conclusion? Or should we conclude that this is a psychological limit and we just need to stop thinking so much?
davsti4 · · focus · HN ↗
wat10000 · · focus · HN ↗
davsti4 · · focus · HN ↗
wat10000 · · focus · HN ↗
While you're at it, rolling in an understanding that people are different and not everybody enjoys any particular thing would not go amiss.
davsti4 · · focus · HN ↗
DOSE - the happy chemicals of the brain - Dopamine, Oxytocin, Seratonin, and Endorphins.
Endorphins, in "most" people, are released during or after physical exercise. Upon release, they help reduce pain, which then sometimes triggers dopamine. This combination is called "runner's high", which can be why people choose to continue running. Those that don't ever "feel" this way, may give up on running and find other ways to get physical activity in their life regimen. Those that never physically exercise typically end up with weight problems, but not always.
The way the brain chemistry varies between people can be different based on many factors such as DNA, food, gut bacteria, environmental chemical exposure, and more... Humans, today, share the same set of chemicals empowering their bodies, however there is mostly small, but sometimes larger, variation in the quantities of those chemicals. So, we're all different, and yet we're all the same.
Chemistry plays a big role in perception of an activity - was it a good activity, or a bad one? Good activities tend to reinforce repeat behavior of that activity, bad ones help reinforce memories of what not to do. So, if you've never experienced runner's high, I could understand why you wouldn't be interested in running. Just don't be sedentary - the human body was not [built|evolved] for sedentary life.
... and not to bring AI into this conversation, but its why the tech is so different - its not tied to the materiality of our brain chemistry. Its merely the [approximate?] representation of our own brain electrical activity without the consequence of all that we are - pain, sadness, happiness, bliss, love, etc...
Full disclosure: I received a dopamine release from the writing of this reply ;P
wat10000 · · focus · HN ↗
I'm glad you found writing your reply to be enjoyable, because it's a lot of words to just miss the point.