Thread

1. nyargh · 1790611878 · focus · HN ↗

   Discovered my kid doing exactly this years ago. We purposefully limited all social media, locked dowb devices etc, but life uh.. finds a way.

   I was impressed, just had the standard talk about how you have to assume everything you put out on the internet never goes away and that you really have no idea who is on the other side of the screen, never share personal information, etc

   Now they are older and are on ridiculous group chats with their friends. Pretty impossible to control tbh. At least they keep me up to date with the latest memes!

   1. xer0x · 1790615584 · focus · HN ↗

      This is my kids too, life finds a way. I've blocked Youtube, and yet I discovered they are watching their favourite Youtube creators via Spotify.

      1. Lerc · 1790630522 · focus · HN ↗

         My father blocked things from me, not internet based obviously because they weren't available. But things like fixing the heater so it wouldn't be set higher than what he considered reasonable.

         I assume he's still alive, but I haven't communicated with him for years.

         1. Dylan16807 · 1790637093 · focus · HN ↗

            I... did you pick the first example of conflict that came to your head and there were many deeper problems, or do you think not being able to adjust the thermostat is some kind of huge red flag/worse?

            1. Aeolun · 1790640465 · focus · HN ↗

               I guess that depends on what temperature he thought was reasonable? Freezing is a temperature.

               1. what · 1790645765 · focus · HN ↗

                  Put a sweater on instead of running the heat. Maybe I’m just an old fart.
            2. Lerc · 1790647152 · focus · HN ↗

               I felt the cold a great deal and preferred a higher temperature. The issue is not the temperature, it was that my preference was different to his and his solution was to force his preference because we disagreed on a point.

               Obviously it is not the only thing, but an example of using control instead of reason or consensus.

               For the record I did not forbid my daughter to use social media. I told her why I did not use it myself. She finally got a facebook account because it was required to engage with her university courses. She was livid.

               1. Dylan16807 · 1790647906 · focus · HN ↗

                  > The issue is not the temperature, it was that my preference was different to his and his solution was to force his preference because we disagreed on a point.

                  > Obviously it is not the only thing, but an example of using control instead of reason or consensus.

                  When the preference in question is temperature, not many households include children in the consensus process. Adults deciding that is quite normal with few grudges.

                  I don't know how to interpret "instead of reason". If you mean that literally, I strongly doubt the temperature setting was chosen without reasoning things through.

                  1. SoftTalker · 1790653660 · focus · HN ↗

                     My dad liked to say that if I wasn't happy with the temperature then I could start paying the gas bill.
                  2. Lerc · 1790668666 · focus · HN ↗

                     >not many households include children in the consensus process.

                     That was at least something I could address when I became a parent.

                     My daughter mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she was confused by the fact that all of her friends seek her out when they need to know the right thing to do. I told her it is because she has a moral compass that you can see from space.

               2. redsocksfan45 · 1790677962 · focus · HN ↗

                  [dead]

               3. impurify · 1790814675 · focus · HN ↗

                  > I did not forbid my daughter to use social media. I told her why I did not use it myself.

                  This is genius: (a) Treat your kid like an intelligent human being, and (b) don’t be a hypocrite.

                  It sounds like if you’d been my parent, maybe I would’ve respected you and taken your opinion seriously. As it is, I just quoted your anecdote (with link and attribution) in another venue where this HN thread got linked.

                  I will never forgive my parents for what they did to me when I was a teenager—allegedly “for my own good”. I thought I was smarter than they were. I was right.

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