Thread

1. nyargh · 1790611878 · focus · HN ↗

   Discovered my kid doing exactly this years ago. We purposefully limited all social media, locked dowb devices etc, but life uh.. finds a way.

   I was impressed, just had the standard talk about how you have to assume everything you put out on the internet never goes away and that you really have no idea who is on the other side of the screen, never share personal information, etc

   Now they are older and are on ridiculous group chats with their friends. Pretty impossible to control tbh. At least they keep me up to date with the latest memes!

   1. madibo3156 · 1790614245 · focus · HN ↗

      Sounds like you accepted it but did not outright say whether you're content with it. Do you think it was a little silly now or do you still stand by it? Basically, if you were to go back knowing what you do now, would you have still locked down social media use for your kids? What would you have done differently if anything?

      1. nyargh · 1790665164 · focus · HN ↗

         Locking down algorithmic social media for kids/youth is an absolute no brainer for me. So many reasons, honestly. No regrets there, and they never had it so they didn't get addicted and don't miss it.

         Maybe you're asking about the spotify chats though? It was challenging for me, yes. There were topics and discussions that moody kids would have that I now had a window into. It can be a bit scary as a parent to see that all without filters, but it was also an opportunity to check in with them and have conversations about it. Kids have all these feelings and conversations anyway, so it's just part of that age. My childhood was rough, so I'm just thankful it is not like that for them and they have people to talk to. As I parent of course I wish they'd come to me first, but I know I will never be their peer in that way.

         I do wish I blocked short form video better, but that's more out of concern for their attention and my own aesthetic snobbery ;) I do significantly limit how much time they can spend watching it, and we all know its a "treat" akin to junk food. Sometimes they share it with me :)

         1. madibo3156 · 1790786985 · focus · HN ↗

            Thanks for your reply. To me, kidhood is a developmental time where self-destructive habits have more time and malleability to course-correct. On the flip side it's a breeding ground for addiction.

            I guess I'd rather kid tries to screw life up while parent has more leverage to fix it. But you could argue proactive preventative leverage is even better.

            In my mind I think if a person really wants to explore something, they will find a way. If kid is susceptible to social media addiction, it will find its way in. Yes, it's more dangerous when young. Conversely if it happens later in life they're on their own to combat it, without having learned through experience. That was my thinking. May not be accurate.

Unofficial Hacker News client; not affiliated with Y Combinator.