Thread

1. snovymgodym · 1790442667 · focus · HN ↗

   A really toxic part of online interactions is that it's very common for people to see a tiny snippet of another person's life and then project all of their own personal resentments onto them.

   1. darth_avocado · 1790445234 · focus · HN ↗

      It’s not only online. Just last weekend, someone heckled me at Costco because my wife was pushing a heavy ass cart while I was walking freely next to her. She chose to do it, I offered to take it and she refused. But somehow a random stranger had something to say about it.

      Online behavior is unfortunately a slightly worse mirror of real life. If you want to experience people outside of your bubble, just go to any public hearings or meetings and you’ll find that a lot of people are quite out there.

      1. hattmall · 1790446095 · focus · HN ↗

         Ok, but like were you offended, I feel like it's mostly a harmless slightly funny observation. I wasn't there but like were they really trying to be mean spirited with it? I live in the south and there's a pretty much constant running stream of public commentary on any and everything going on and 99.9% of it is friendly intentioned even if on the surface it's deriding. So really the idea of thinking someone is making a meaningful judgement is strange. And of course, even if they really were, why care?

         1. beedeebeedee · 1790446653 · focus · HN ↗

            I’ll jump in- why care? Because it sucks to have people taking pot shots at you. If it is just one, then sure, that isn’t so bad, but when you have a group doing it, it can become existential. You may not have seen this type of violence before but it is unsettling. A group of people can do low effort violence that feels fun and harmless to them (each taking a lazy swing at someone), but the cumulative effect can be beating up or killing someone. Getting yelled at, or having someone write threatening things to you, is not as bad as being punched or having a stone thrown, but it is still damaging to humans.

            1. senderista · 1790448357 · focus · HN ↗

               Not all hurtful and harmful behavior is violence and we need to maintain the distinction.

               1. icantevenhold · 1790448680 · focus · HN ↗

                  Don’t want to be the semantics guy but hurtful and harmful behaviour is by definition violence.

                  1. senderista · 1790449873 · focus · HN ↗

                     By whose definition?

                     1. beedeebeedee · 1790464995 · focus · HN ↗

                        The World Health Organization includes not just actual but also threatened physical force or power that results in injury, death or psychological harm
                     2. icantevenhold · 1790524475 · focus · HN ↗

                        Something that causes harm is harmful; something that causes hurt is hurtful. So something that is harmful or hurtful is violence?

                        Or what am I missing?

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