Thread

I'm the mom in that viral Giants clip. Let me tell you about my husband

609 points · 241 comments · minimaxir

minimaxir · 1790439174 · focus · HN ↗
Viral clip in question: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@espnatbat/video/7688719334973230366" rel="nofollow">https://www.tiktok.com/@espnatbat/video/7688719334973230366
Article is about the impact of social media pile-ons (and has been getting praise within tech) so it is within scope for HN.
1. Rzor · 1790442275 · focus · HN ↗
  Those comments are pure vitriol juice, my god, and they just keep coming from all angles as to why that dude is an absolutely piece of shit on very little data. Incredible stuff, and a good lesson right there.
  1. mahboi · 1790443710 · focus · HN ↗
    Probably from unmarried people anyway
2. fhdkweig · 1790442405 · focus · HN ↗
  TikTok threw up a big "login" popup that I couldn't skip, so here is a youtube link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUwQmrEFf7E" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUwQmrEFf7E
  1. ksymph · 1790442773 · focus · HN ↗
    Normally the comments on that video are something I could laugh along with, but reading them after the article is... sobering.
    joe_the_user · 1790447472 · focus · HN ↗
    The interesting way is the way the pinned post primes people to attack without it being obvious. Basically, they use assumptive language - "is this just how it's always been. Modern marriage or traditional marriage?" assumes that this two minute clip shows this couple's entire relationship.
    And that kind of language to "get discussion going" is well know to those aiming for views.
3. Quothling · 1790442965 · focus · HN ↗
  I'm Danish, but how is this terrible? I should show these people a video of my twins sleeping in a snow covered trolley outside the bar I was having a beer and a board game by the window at.
  1. Wistar · 1790443290 · focus · HN ↗
    When I first moved to Denmark, I marveled at the babies in unattended carriages parked outside the grocery stores.
  2. pantulis · 1790443606 · focus · HN ↗
    The only terrible thing is the food they're having.
  3. throw93038383 · 1790444192 · focus · HN ↗
    [dead]
    heikkilevanto · 1790447219 · focus · HN ↗
    Living in Copenhagen, I do not recognize that. I live in a city apartment on Vesterbro. We have maybe a hundred bikes parked in the backyard, nobody I know brings his bike home for the night, unless it is a really fancy racing bike. But yes, I do lock my bike when ever I really away from it.
  4. senderista · 1790448461 · focus · HN ↗
    You totally should do that, as long as you can't be doxxed. I would love to see the reactions from self-righteous Americans.
  5. kulahan · 1790450780 · focus · HN ↗
    Danes being willing to leave their kids unattended outside, as good as it may be in practice, is a horrifying idea to people in the US at least, and is liable to get Child Protection Services called on you. Different culture.
    einaralex · 1790454725 · focus · HN ↗
    Sad world to live in
    kulahan · 1790473316 · focus · HN ↗
    Agreed. I grew up living for the weekends. I’d wake up, crush some cereal while watching cartoons, and then I’d run out the door to find my friends. I’d usually be home by dark. Or I’d call and tell my mom I was sleeping over at a friend’s house and I’d be back in the morning. She might literally not see me for 30+ hours even when I was in elementary school.
    We’d spend our time playing spies and hiding in the bushes watching neighbors do whatever, or looking for crawfish in the creek, or just breaking sticks on trees in the woods lol.
    dlcarrier · 1790462664 · focus · HN ↗
    In the US, CPS will go after you, even if you're just doing what's normal in our culture, as long as one single person doesn't like it.
    Someone in my area was in her apartment doing dishes while her kid was playing in the playground in the apartment complex's common area in front of the unit. (<a href="https://fox40.com/news/local-news/sacramento-mother-faces-child-endangerment-charges-for-allowing-4-year-old-son-to-play-outside-alone/" rel="nofollow">https://fox40.com/news/local-news/sacramento-mother-faces-ch...) Someone called CPS and complained that she was inside, while her kid was outside. Even though most anyone would agree it was a nuisance call, they still charged her and opened a case, telling her that if her child is ever out of her direct sight, she'll be violation of the rule they just made up.
    Nothing stops CPS from making up their own rules. There's even an effort to specify in each states' laws that parents letting children roam free isn't legally endangerment, but despite having such language in their laws, a mom was recently prosecuted in Virginia, for similarly letting her child roam within a gated common area. (<a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginia-mom-child-abuse-conviction-walking-alone-karyann-parkinson/" rel="nofollow">https://www.cbsnews.com/news/virginia-mom-child-abuse-convic...)
    em-bee · 1790463808 · focus · HN ↗
    virginia mom is discussed here: <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49550174">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49550174
4. dualvariable · 1790445281 · focus · HN ↗
  I started to notice a bit over a decade ago (about the same time as Cersei's walk of shame on GoT) that millennials as a generation were piling into naming and shaming people publicly as blindly appropriate punishment, without any consideration of what could go wrong and considering it their right and entitlement to do that. Any time a public figure gets into any kind of trouble, people demand to know all the details so they can satisfy their need to express outrage. It really is not healthy. Even if another person who was harmed comes out to express that they are satisfied with the outcome and the process that was followed, the crowd still wants to know all the details so they can feel angry.
  1. randycupertino · 1790447242 · focus · HN ↗
    I think it's their frustration of other things they can't control - climate change, K-shaped economy, PFAS in everything, no healthcare, 7% and rising mortgages for $1.5 million 1000 sq ft built in 1965 shitboxes, corruption by politicians, suppressed elections, pedophile rings operating carte blanche while law enforcement casts a blind eye, presidential pardons for sale to the rich, clawbacks of longstanding LGBTQ and women's rights... culture wars against trans people to distract from class inequality.... and on and on.
    Well, I can't make much progress on or change those things so let me distract myself checking out this shitbird who won't help his wife or hold the baby while she gets some nachos. I can be outraged at him because it's small and tangible compared to being outraged at structural inequality of our current economic reality or the looming climate crisis.
    anon291 · 1790448370 · focus · HN ↗
    for our parents generation, mortgage rates were 10%+
    dualvariable · 1790449026 · focus · HN ↗
    And the mean house sale price was under $96k (which is still under $250k, adjusted for inflation).
    From roughly 1953 to 2000, the inflation-adjusted cost of the mean house was around $200k-$250k in today's dollars. Now it has nearly doubled, and mortgage rates are on the rise and headed back towards 10%.
    dualvariable · 1790448397 · focus · HN ↗
    I can see where it comes from, but it is still highly dysfunctional, and a lot of millennials will use those arguments to defend that behavior.
    I think it needs to be called out as being bad, and deconstructed properly, and that outrage needs to get redirected back onto the structural issues.
    Which is another argument--that when people behave badly because of structural issues, that isn't an excuse.
    shigawire · 1790448692 · focus · HN ↗
    I agree. If you feel previous social systems of justice and fairness have eroded, the only outlet that seems reasonable is "democratic" mob action.
  2. pjc50 · 1790449009 · focus · HN ↗
    I'm not sure this is unique to that generation. Tabloids have always been like that. It's just been "democratized" so anyone can start it.
    Also I note that a lot of "legacy" pretexts for shaming are off the table. It's not done to shame people simply for being gay; that's now acceptable even in Conservative circles. So perhaps the total shame has just been redistributed, somewhat arbitrarily.
    (And another thing: this has evolved shame resistant politicians just like antibiotic overuse evolved MRSA)
    throwaway2037 · 1790503832 · focus · HN ↗
    Yeah, the same happened on Facebook, long before smartphones were normal for everyone.
  3. mejthemage · 1790522339 · focus · HN ↗
    This has also resulted in "punishing" people for having the "wrong ideas" by publicly shaming them with partial truths just because they disagree.
    It sometimes feels like everyone around is secretly working on behalf of the thought police and we're being coerced into believing one specific narrative.

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