Silicon Valley 'sex assault list' with 'over 100' names circulated
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Unofficial Hacker News client; not affiliated with Y Combinator.
Silicon Valley 'sex assault list' with 'over 100' names circulated
Unofficial Hacker News client; not affiliated with Y Combinator.
throw931666666 · · focus · HN ↗
I had sex therapy to be able to understand where my fantasy ends, and where the real world starts, and how people in the real world aren't there to play the roles my fantasies give them.
It sounds obvious when I say it like this but there are many men like me, who didn't grow up emotionally, and having difficulty accepting the agency of others. Women had to be interested in me so that I could feel validated. I also had never stopped and asked myself "does she really want this or am I trying to manipulate her?".
You also see the same pattern with men who think it's their right to find a female partner and they feel wronged by the society when this doesn't automatically happen.
Try getting some help, fellow men. It takes a lot of weight from your shoulders and you become much less likely to end up getting on such lists.
em-bee · · focus · HN ↗
i don't quite get the meaning of this in the context of accepting agency of others. because it works both ways. either it means you assume that they are interested in you to validate yourself, or it means you need see/experience them actively showing interest in order to validate your approach.
likewise with agency, i can assume someone has agency, which is actually bad because it leads to thinking: if they didn't want this they would have used their agency to stop it. or i can ask myself whether there might be something that could prevent this person from using their agency.
a problem is also that when approaching someone you know what you want, and what you want could be something harmless. but the approached person doesn't know that if they don't know you well enough already.
em-bee · · focus · HN ↗