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I don't want the details

466 points · 226 comments · mooreds

  1. cushychicken · · focus · HN ↗
    I'm here for the sentiment expressed by the SVP in this article: "I already believe we reached this point through rational choices. Let's talk about how to change the system so it doesn't happen again."

    I do think his choice of words was a bit suboptimal. But, it got the point across.

    1. tombert · · focus · HN ↗
      > I do think his choice of words was a bit suboptimal. But, it got the point across.

      As I've gotten older, I've grown to appreciate people who are willing to be a little rude in order to avoid wasting people's time or giving them false impressions.

      For example, when recruiters reach out to me on LinkedIn now, I almost always say something like "I don't want to waste your time or mine: what is the salary range?" It might be considered a bit "rude" to immediately jump to money, but I figure that that's less rude than wasting 30-90 minutes of time for a job that I have no chance of accepting.

      I also try and be a little upfront if I don't like food someone has prepared. I try not to be too much of a dick, but if someone prepared something that I don't like and they ask my opinion, I will say that I wasn't a huge fan. Again, maybe a bit rude, but I also don't want to mislead people.

      It kind of goes against my gut; I, like most people, don't really want to make people feel bad and I certainly am not immune to people-pleasing, but I've tried to fight that for the greater cause of being more-honest and upfront with how I speak.

      1. kvirani · · focus · HN ↗
        This resonates as I'm trying to do this more, especially since I'm historically more people-pleasey.

        Any resources you suggest?

        1. rsyring · · focus · HN ↗
          <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.radicalcandor.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.radicalcandor.com&#x2F;

          The first chapter or two of the book is good for the general principles. I found the later chapters about big org management to be less helpful.

          I personally go one step further and mentally adjust radical candor to be winsome candor. I&#x27;m explicitly adding some empathy and humanity by doing that, so that I&#x27;m more likely to treat others how I&#x27;d want to be treated, even when the conversation is hard.

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