Thread

1. tancop · 1789626840 · focus · HN ↗

   The part about being autistic for life is not really helpful. I personally know people who learned to "stop being autistic" from an outside POV, and they got to the point where they're not consciously masking anymore, it all comes natural. Just decided to act "normal" for a change and stuck with it.

   Of course it's not easy, not everyone can do it (like if they also have some intellectual disability) or wants to do it, but it's the right solution for a lot of people. It's not really curing autism because it's not changing your DNA but it's definitely treating the most socially disabling symptoms.

   But I think the statements all good and does what it's supposed to if it helps fight forced therapy child abuse and anti vax movements. Don't need to be perfect to make a change.

   1. watwut · 1789627635 · focus · HN ↗

      They are still autistic.
   2. flippingheck · 1789628880 · focus · HN ↗

      Unconsciously masking is still tiring, and masking doesn't generalise well to unfamiliar situations.
   3. wjnc · 1789631325 · focus · HN ↗

      Knowing something you’ve learned to live with for life has a name and by learning that name thus recognizing your ordeal can be very helpful. Neurodiversity is real and learning that you are perhaps somewhat special (not wired like others; perhaps prone to using social tricks as a mask) can help. My personal learning of the last few years. For me the tricks and masks didn’t hurt me, but recognizing how I am and even a bit of sharing that with closest relations helped me massively.

      1. bcjdjsndon · 1789647831 · focus · HN ↗

         > Knowing something you’ve learned to live with for life

         What have you been living with for life?

         1. wjnc · 1789724269 · focus · HN ↗

            Sorry, I was begging the question and think that’s a bit too private for a public forum.

            In general terms my inside pretty much knew that I was neurotypical on quite a few dimensions, but I kept on trying to fit in a normal frame for 40+ years. Accepting these dimensions for what they are (roll the D100) and sharing them to a different degrees in different circumstances (private, social, work) helps me a lot. Turns out friends know you better than you think and that talking about things leads to mutual understanding! While I was long ashamed of being different (to a degree).

            An example … I am more “German” than a German. Show me a rule and it ‘fuses’ into my brain. So things like rules and fairness are not for me as they are to most people. This, so I am told, is pretty typical for some people, while most people will literally roll their eyes when I reason mathematically from rules. I think rolling your eyes is not polite and not taking the substance seriously and you can understand how it might go from there. This is also highly hereditary behavior.

   4. wolvoleo · 1789633029 · focus · HN ↗

      That sounds too much like people saying 'just don't be depressed' to me.

      And constantly masking (whether or not it's consciously done) is taking its toll too. Because you spend a lot of 'brainpower' second-guessing yourself.

      For me it was really liberating finding people that accept me as I am so I don't have to worry all the time. And I became more successful at work when I stopped pretending to be someone I'm not.

      And I definitely don't want to 'seem normal' to not attract the ire of the anti-vaxxers anti-neurodivergent crowd. They're my enemies so they deserve no such adaptation.

   5. bcjdjsndon · 1789647768 · focus · HN ↗

      > who learned to "stop being autistic" from an outside POV

      Sorry but what exactly does this mean?

      1. mobiuscog · 1789661597 · focus · HN ↗

         It means they are masking.

         1. kbelder · 1789662917 · focus · HN ↗

            Maybe they changed. The inability to change shouldn't be taken as gospel.
   6. strideashort · 1789913767 · focus · HN ↗

      Why should i change my outside to accommodate you?

      You are forcing a mould on a person whose brain works differently to accommodate the majority.

      You have no clue at what costs it comes on the long term (I do, and it’s not pleasant).

      I recommend asking decent ai to explain to you the harm of this lone of thought / demand on autistic population

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