Thread

1. inopinatus · 1789550931 · focus · HN ↗

   Kindly simulate two hours of queuing at the Schengen border, a coin toss minigame over whether security is “laptops in” or “laptops out”, bonus if your belt pings, lounge access roulette, wailing infant(s), guy two rows back with the worst most productive cough you ever heard (still got that old N95?), retaining status planning spreadsheets, baggage systems failure at Denver, people using the loos in their socks, unstaffed rentals counter, tired neighbour using your shoulder as a pillow, Franz Kafka’s “The SSSS Boarding Pass”, guy who won’t close the damn window shade, creepily accurate PRC face recognition systems, shuttle bus orienteering challenge, Emerald ass-kissing, lost at Doha, cabin uncomfortably warm mid-flight, world’s most disappointing beef, go-around three times at Queenstown and diverted to Christchurch again, passport reader unresponsive, 7.1kg carryon rule nazi, 30 minutes of taxiing, US domestic “lounge” with no facilities at all and nowhere to sit, drunk British lady, gigantic American guy, bassinet accident, Tight Connection Sprint, can’t quite name the minor TV celeb in 1A, Hong Kong Monsoon Warning, crew yelling “sit down sir the seatbelt sign is still on”, toilet scrum during long final after breakfast on the redeye, and (my favourite) the consequences of sitting in an exit row and when they give you the briefing and ask if you’re willing to follow these instructions in an emergency, saying brightly “Looking forward to it!”

   I love air travel.

   1. 2d8a875f-39a2-4 · 1789557419 · focus · HN ↗

      you missed (not a complete list): the TSA travelling over to your country to give to their "was it as good for you as it was for me" inspection on your home soil, the non stop 16h conversation between two strangers right behind you, 45min of bus ride following the 30min of taxi, followed by catching an uber between the international and domestic terminals, carry-on luggage overhead tetris, people somehow coming on the plane with 4 or 5 large pieces of carry-on, the "can you swap seats with me and my middle seat because my partner/child is next to you" tap on the shoulder, the "Missed The Tight Connection" walk of shame, the overnight in a cheap hotel miles out of town because it was the airlines fault, the body odour buddy, the snorer, the last minute departure gate change, the 2h on the tarmac at ATL due to thunder storms, and the ironic applause when a nervous pilot puts you all down rather bumpily.

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